FAMILY 08 – REBELLIOUS YOUTH

Difficult Passages

If someone has a stubborn and rebellious son who will not obey his father and mother, who does not heed them when they discipline him, 19then his father and his mother shall take hold of him and bring him out to the elders of his town at the gate of that place. 20They shall say to the elders of his town, “This son of ours is stubborn and rebellious. He will not obey us. He is a glutton and a drunkard.” 21Then all the men of the town shall stone him to death. So you shall purge the evil from your midst; and all Israel will hear, and be afraid.”

  • One of the most difficult and scariest passages of the Old Testament!
  • What do we do we do when we cannot make sense of the Bible? … doubt God or doubt his character? doubt the Bible or its inspiration (though not God)? try to forget it, read only what we understand? declare it ‘outdated’?
  • How to interpret difficult passages:
    • > clear passages interpret unclear passages, not the other way round
    • > it cannot mean something that contradicts the Bible in general
    • > it cannot contradict God’s revealed character
  • Ask: What does this law want to achieve? What principles are shown? What values are being protected? Why would this be necessary?

Deu 21:18                                    What is the situation? Who is this about?

Son        > stubborn, rebellious, addicted to drink, self-indulgence
               > he is old enough to drink, to have a bad reputation, to refuse parents
               > he is young enough to not be an adult legally, he is still under his parents
Parents  > can’t obtain obedience any more, discipline is not gripping any more
               > this is a case of breakdown of parental authority of an under age person
               > out-of-control son, dangerous to himself & others, today’s psychopath

Deu 21:19-21                               What must the parents do?

> acknowledge to themselves and others that they have failed in their role
> this would be very shameful, very embarrassing, a last resort
> there is a strong incentive to “try once more”, “to give it their best”
> only if they have no hope any more would they do this
> Parents must take responsibility, must act, must address the problem
> if their authority is lost, somebody has to take it: transfer it to city elders
> they can’t just wait & hope, the son is dangerous, they must protect others

What can we learn from this so far?
> God gives authority over children to parents
> God holds parents accountable for children until they are self-responsible
> if parental authority breaks down completely parents can’t abdicate’, they must own up, admit, take responsibility, hand over authority to another
> ‘fear of shame’ will make the parents try their best and to be patient
> authority must go somewhere

De 21:19-21                               What must the city elders do?

> execute the teenager by stoning

  • Bangladesh method of capital punishment? hanging, usually limited public access
  • Jewish method of capital punishment? > community execution by stone throwing
  • Everybody has to go and throw stones, active participation in execution required
  • Execution by consensus: all must agree that it is necessary for this person to die
  • Stoning has a strong effect on the community:
    • > seeing injustice and evil punished
    • > seeing the destructiveness of evil
    • > having to agree with the judgement
    • > having to take active part in the judgement
    • > having the fear of God to not do evil myself
    • > who am I to judge? > conscience awakened
    • > seeing justice being done > resolution, peace
  • What must city elders do?
    • > investigate carefully about this family
    • > hearing of both sides: the parents and the teenager
    • > investigate parents & teenager’s behavior as known by others
    • > determine whether this teenager is truly guilty and truly beyond help
    • > agree with the need for a death sentence
    • > take an active part in the execution
  • How would this affect a city elder?
    • > if still hope that this teenager can mend > they won’t agree easily to stoning
    • > teenager gets a hearing, an evaluation by people other than his parents, a second chance … maybe the parents are the problem
    • > Elder are experiences, senior, proven leaders, successful disciplers
    • > chances are one will say: “Let this teenager come into my family and let’s see whether he is really beyond help” > new chance under a different authority
    • > this is not mentioned in the text but the procedure of the case would create a strong incentive to reach out to this youth.
    • > only if all agree that this youth is beyond help & truly dangerous > execution

What can to learn from this difficult text?

  • Parents are responsible for and must take action to correct their children’s behavior, legal or otherwise. If the child is of age, he is responsible for his actions.
  • If one authority or domain breaks down (here: FAM), another must step in (here: GOV). Responsibility must be taken, authority must go somewhere.
    • Example: You see a neighbor’s child with bruises. What do you do?
    • Example: You are a teacher and see a child cower each time you walk by? What do you do?
  • God, who gives very great power to the family, shows the limits of its power: just judgement or application of violence is not given to FAM, but GOV
  • This is especially limiting the power of the ‘pater familias’ as the influential leader of the extended family: He does not hold powers of GOV nor over death & life. He is not allowed to mete out an extreme punishment in anger. Only if mother and elders agree the community can mete out the agreed punishment.
  • The son must be given a fair hearing by a neutral side.
  • This prevents honor killings for unchastity, murder for conversion and the like.
  • No recorded example in the Bible where this law was applied > this further shows that the purpose is not to oppress sons but to limit the arbitrariness of fathers
  • Conditions: rebellious, disobedient, refusing discipline, … glutton and drunkard.
Extreme Cases
  • What if the teenager is really beyond help? Does this happen?
  • US: Colorado, Littleton School shooting …
  • Bangladesh: Execution of a tribal village youth who kept kidnapping children
  • What do you do in extreme cases? You have to weigh:
    • safety of community                                <=>    youth’s life
    • importance of family, parental authority  <=> value of youth’s or child’s life
    • parental authority over children              <=>  government’s authority over children
  • All extreme cases: whatever you do, it’s ugly. But you still have to do your best to weigh things against each other and make a choice.